ANSWER - carrier pigeon

"Rufus, everyone's always on me to get a phone, but Ugh, they are such a pain. My friends are on them all the time and never look up ... which does make it fun to make faces at them since they don't notice, but still, the phone culture is not my thing. Then again, at times like this having one sure would come in handy. I'll just get the most basic one they have and only use it for emergencies ... and looking up funny videos."
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[8-Q-n]